When it’s silent, where you come from

A man comes for coaching. A bit mousy he enters the room. I am not so sure where to start, he says. Coaching, I actually don’t know what it means.

He has never been to a caregiver before. Until now, he managed to do things all by himself. Ever since his youth, in which his parents played a simple role, he took care of him self. Grown up with his parents, who both barely finished primary school, because of the harsh conditions in their families.

As a single child, he always took care of his children, but didn’t receive any soul food for it in return. His parents are simple, he says, really very simple. He raised his self and became a mainstay for his parents. He is all by himself, he doesn’t know otherwise.

His supervisor send him. He noticed him turning more and more in to himself. He takes care of himself well, but is not in touch with anyone. He looks at me a bit mousy.

What should we talk about? He asks. We are already talking about things, I say. About you, about your life. That doesn’t really mean anything, he then says. Have you learned to live your life with others that also provide you some energy? I ask him. No, I am not familiar with that.

He knows taking care, being a mainstay, but being asked what he wants, he is not used to at all. The conversation doesn’t go so smoothly. This man is not used to being in contact, he chose a solo job.

Next time: in the deep end!