Boundaries as guidance

Client with a question:

I feel emptiness and feel lost in myself in my mourning; how can I get a grip again?

Boundaries as guidance

When you lose your job, you lose someone, when you say goodbye to a relationship, emptiness appears in a lot of people. This emptiness frightens people. Emptiness means, not being able to hold on, to have a grip on the world, someone or something. Lost in space without handles around you, to hold on to.  People’s lives are built around frames and boundaries that’s how we can handle the world.  In this way limitation and framing in life has a big purpose. Boundaries and frames keep people in an obvious and clear space in their life, so they are able to define themselves. When you see your neighbor, you know: that is my neighbor. That is clear and you are his or her neighbor. This is a frame and you can hold on to that frame.

In times of loss and frames that collapse, boundaries are important even the smallest ones.

Boundaries contain your life. They let you feel where and who you are in this moment. People that mourn need even the smallest boundaries. This means that you can invite those people to have a walk or a cup of tea. But you will have to set boundaries. You will go downtown for just a small hour to drink something. By doing this, someone in need of boundaries, just feels the limit of time, the boundary of a city or village, the boundary of someone taking an hour time for doing this.

To heal again with the help of someone and the boundaries that are visible and felt again.